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HBO special
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Once again I have nothing exciting to report, thats a good thing right? but it means things for me are pretty boring here. This last week we had a hit to one of our convoys and 1 soldier was wounded. He was evacuated and from what I have heard (which is limited info) he is going to be fine, he was not hit with life threatening injuries so that was lucky for him. There is going to be a special on HBO on may 21st, sorry such short notice but I just heard about it. the special will be covering a military medical unit/operations in Bahgdad. I'm sure that you have heard about how violent things have been in that area, and the special will be graphic at times I'm sure. I was hoping someone would be able to record or get a copy of that program and send it to me. I would be interested in seeing how they portrait the situation there, as well as see the medical procedures they go through from the time they here about a mass causualty situation, to where they are triaging and treating. I have about 65 days until my plane takes me home for vacation, and I am really looking forward to the change of scenery. Holtan I promise that if I ever take a picture like the previous one again they will be army issue or nothing at all, no more of that civilian stuff until it is authorized :). I have never seen the movie brokeback mountain, was it any good? Budahn did you see it alone or with a buddy? I look forward to catching up on all the movies I'm missing over here. The Iraqi shops on base sell pirated movies from theatres, I have no idea how they can get them here so fast after being in the theatre for only a week, but the quality is so bad I refuse to watch them and taint my first experience of watching the movie. Included in todays blog is my buddy who has came with me all the way from echo company, and a new buddy I met when I joined Charlie med. all 3 of us were attached to the 133 infantry before Christmas last year. Take care people (gives each of you a hug)....only a few of you got the ass grab, you know who you are....Troy. Oh yeah, when I go home I'll be shopping for the perfect tool for this blog, a new camera that will allow me to record video I can upload to this site, so some things to look forward to might be virtual tours of the tent, the chow hall, me dancing, maybe a video blog on location somewhere, or while riding on a convoy or while showering.....just to wet your appetites. I'm so excited, aren't you?
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grabbin' asses
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Hello friends, for those of you who do so much for me back home, whether it is taking care of my personal affairs, to showing support through inspiring words in the comment section, I want you to know it is appreciated, and when I here my fans asking for something from me, I would do as much as I can for them. Besides when a soldier has time on his hands there is no telling what kind of mischief he will get himself into. That is why I offer you...to the best of my ability, the ass grab.
First a bit of history on the ass grab, and how it became an acceptable practice. These facts are in no way documented, and are based solely on the limits of my imagination....which knows no limits.
The ass grab has not always been a sign of showing comraderie or friendship, back in the dark ages the ass grab was used by men to show women we were attracted to them. Men were so dense that when a woman gave us a dirty look after sqeezing their ass, we smiled and thought they were playing hard to get. We now know better, thanks to women adding a good slap to the face with the dirty look. Most men have taken the hint, and have learned there are better ways to show ones affection to a woman.
Nowadays the ass grab or slap is acceptable in public society as long as it is followed by the words "good game" or "good job today" and is used in reference to performance on the job, but for the most part is only acceptable when men do this to other men. I have enjoyed the freedom of having no guilt giving the ass grab to my friends back home, even though there has been no job performed, on the contrary I will do it as a shock tactic in a public place, to cause good-natured embarrasement. My technique is simple, and quick, causing friends to jump slightly or stand tippy-toe while trying to pick up speed to walk free of the grab. It has been stated by the friends whos asses have been grabbed that it causes a short increase in the heart rate, and a feeling of euphoria for a few seconds. The reaction is automatic and is followed by nervous laughter that cannot be helped.
The technique itself is a light slap to the ass...you do not pull back at all, but actually keep constant pressure on the ass even as the subject begins their shuffle forward, hold this for a full second then apply the gentle squeeze and...release. Your technique is good if the subject accelerates even more during the squeeze.You can follow this with a quick comment like "good game" even if no game has been played, or "nice ass" even if their ass is mediocre, it will boost their self-confidence and if said out loud, those people within earshot will be compelled to follow up your assessment with their own observations.
I enjoy giving the ass-grab as much as recieving it, which is why in my past blogs in mention it occasionally so my friends back home will have recollections of my firm yet gentle touch.
So with no subject here, willing to help me with my picture that was suggested, I present you with me grabbing my own ass. Thank-you all for your previous comments and suggestions on what would make this a more interesting blog for you. After all you are who I am writing for. Troy.
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boring....
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Hello people, sorry it has been a little slow here, it is just a reflection of what it is like right now...not much going on, I went on a mission the other day, boring ride (which is a good thing) just long hours of sitting in a hummvee, scanning the desert, looking for bad guys. I did see a shepherd, walking with all his sheep from one scrappy patch of bush to another scrappy patch of brush..I even took a picture, not to hurt his feelings but the shepherd and his sheep were not exciting enough for me to keep after going over my film later. Hehehe....you must picture a scenario like hugh hefner looking over glossy prints choosing who will make the cover....yep, its kinda like that here, I pour over all kinds of photos that I've taken, or the aspiring photographers here hoping to make a medicevolved blog cover. it isn't easy shouldering the responsibility of making that choice, but the choice is made easier if I'm in the pic...I believe those really capture the essence of what is going on over here...anyway, I promise the next exciting thing that happens over here, You'll find it here first. Take care of yourselves back home my friends, give yourselves a hug for me, now sneak in a little ass grab, now laugh and go "Oh Troy, we can't take you anywhere can we". Until next time.....The T-Dawg.
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quick add-0n
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Erik Holtan is part of my leadership from my original company back home for you people who are wondering, he has been deployed here before and had a great blog running...the Latrine blog was an idea he placed in my mind from way back when he was here.
Thanks Erik for the support, I wrote that the day I was told I had to register it or else....so I was so mad. Anyway I love the support I get from you guys and it helps motivate me to keep comming up with stuff to make you laugh, or think.....thanks again people. |
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a bunch of crap...
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You know, I mentioned the Latrine cleaner-upper in one of my earlier blogs, but I have never mentioned the informative people who want to pass on their knowledge and experience to the rest of the world, while your using the Latrine.
You know those porta-pottys you see at block parties or concerts? I'm sure at one time or another you have used one... at Al-Asad you will find them convienently located everywhere. If you suddenly feel the need, wherever you are on base, just look around and you will see one. If you have ever enjoyed one of these facilities you may have seen the facts, poems, and miscellaneous info posted on the walls. You've basically got 3 different types of writers seeking famous anonymity in them. First the poets, with such gems as "Here I sit all broken hearted, tried to poop but only farted..." talking about the expectations they had, only to be disappointed in the end, or this one..."Here I sit in Stinky vapor, some A-hole used all the paper" Similar, but a little more original than our previous poet. Then there are those people that enjoy leaving their opinions stated as facts like "There are more hot army girls than navy girls" or "Chris is gay" these facts that are posted are never backed up by any kind of proof or evidence and of course there are no signatures, I assume because they do not want to have to reveal their sources. In the misc. catagory I put the artists, those people who feel the urge to create art (usually their idea of what the naked form looks like to them) while doing their buisiness, there is also the people who leave classified ads, they are usually looking for a date or encounter of one variation or another and leave a web address or number for interested parties to contact them. I'm not even sure what catagory some of the things I've seen go in, Like this challenge that was offered to any who dared enter the last one I used "Anyone can piss on the seat, be a hero and crap on the ceiling". It really suprises me (every time I sit in one) when I look around and see all these creative, mature minds at work here on the base. I'm sure that the Iraqi people we have employed on this base, as well as the other foriegn militaries working with us here, are equally impressed by the professionalism we display in our latrines.
I guess I'm wondering what drives these people or fills them with the need to express themselves this way. One of my favorite comedians Dane Cook touches on this subject a little, when he talks about people who are so pissed off when taking a crap in a public bathroom, they take a knife out and carve hateful messages on the walls, I have to admit, sometimes it makes me laugh, but more often than not it's pathetic, and it's too bad that what some people write, reflects on the military as a whole.
P.S. the people who wanted me to register my blog so they can screen it, should maybe take a peek into these latrines, give them something more productive to do, they can grab a brush and clean the bowl while they are at it too.
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